Rant and Rave

Boy, I need to lose weight. When I was 30, I had a waist to match my age. Now at 57, the trend has continued - I'm not 57 around the waist - not yet anyway, ha! - but to look at me you might think I was trying real hard to get there. When I was 30 and thought about being 57, I only imagined being wiser and perhaps richer; clothed in grandchildren; house paid for. But now that I'm here, I can see that my imagination ran amuck. There is so much when you're there that you cannot see until you're here - guess that's the wisdom part - but I am certainly not richer and I rarely see my grandchildren - I suppose that's because they live 800 miles away - and "house paid for," I moved two years ago from the house I had lived in for 20 years. It was paid for, but falling down - so now I have a new, smaller house and am in debt up to my ears.

If this sounds like a complaint, it really isn't. Though I am very busy, Eric and I live a simplistic lifestyle that is, for the most part, fun filled and stress free. My job takes up a lot of time, of course, but in between I do a lot of church stuff. I mean a lot of church stuff! I serve on three boards for three different ministry organizations, teach Bible study on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Then, of course, there is Sunday where I support the administrative side of the church - doing the Power Point slides and order of service for the Minister of Music. Sometimes I do the bulletin and help count the offering and make the bank deposit. Even though this a "bunch of business" I'd rather be busy than not.

Eric and I love the movies and get to go almost every week - that is, if I'm not too poor and if there is something out there we just can't live without. I do not consider myself a picky movie-goer, but I am not above walking out of a lousy film either. We don't do horror or slasher films - we're more into comedy and action - James Bond is perfect and Spiderman was to die for. But the truth is we like to stay at home and grill, watch "Everybody Loves Raymond" or "The Golden Girls" or "King Of The Hill" or "Keeping Up Appearances."

I'm really into gay drama. I have a considerable collection of gay-themed movies and shorts. For the most part they are about "coming out" and the struggle of being gay in a homophobic society. Movies like "Maurice", "The Edge of Seventeen" and "Get Real" touch something in my soul. I really like "Queer As Folk!" I know it's not realistic - afterall it's TV - but it does portray many of the struggles we face. I didn't like it at first because of its portrayal of gay men as animalistic mindless sex machines always on the prowl - even unfriendly stories about gays do that, but as a late night soap opera, it does a pretty good job of keeping my interest. "Six Feet Under" is also a good one. Compared to what they show on TV, if the truth be known, in reality we're kinda drab. All the right wing conservative Christians can say about our "lifestyle" is that it is an "abomination to God!" But in reality, I'm just tired and need to get to sleep by 10:30 so I can get up and go to work the next day and pay my bills like everybody else.